The stick shift.

So finally I got home, it was looking a little hairy there for a while.

My problem you see was I was issued with a manual gear shift car today for my work..... Christ. Yes so the last time I would have driven a stick shift would have been maybe 12 years ago.

I get to the airport hoping that I am being looked down on by some unseen force and pray and hope that I can get an automatic, the gods were obviously not smiling today in this Windy City....

I get into the car after talking to my best friend, explaining what had taken place over the last few days with the bf, and the shit that went down! Anyway I digress. So I get into the car and almost shat myself, how does this fucking thing work? I mean I love all things erect and stick like, but this monstrousity was something else... 

I felt like I was about to take off into space at one point...... After lurching back and forth for what seemed like 20 mins, I finally left the car park... I swear people were in awe of how shit a driver I was.. Finally I get into the city after many stallings and near misses with pedestrians, now this is going to be fun, I had to navigate rush hour traffic and the things they call "cunting traffic lights".  The Mitchum I had on today definitely had its work cut out, my Dior homme shirt was becoming like one of those sweat rags hot mechanics use to mop their brow or chiselled abs.

I get to my first appt and I swear the lady was looking at my strange, I was a little dishevelled looking, like I had stepped off the venga bus after a months worth or partying.

Anyway, after many hours of driving up and down the motorway and trying to navigate back roads and those traffic lights, I think I may have finally gotten the hang off it..... That thought didn't last long however, I remembered, I had to take this fucker of a car back , and through the city I may add... Oh my Christ. 

Anyway,  long story short I made it.. I'm home in one piece, albeit many kilos lighter from the sweat I produced, I just hope that it all evaporated before they check the car out, otherwise I am going to be charged for the cleaning bill that wasn't even a fun time to create.

Thankfully I'm sitting here writing this on the kitchen island awaiting for big to come home.... 

Not sure how I am going to behave whilst around him, I will have to do my favourite trick off "down come the shutters on all emotional shit". 

I'm also a little worried he is going to want sex, although that might be a bad thing, last night when I was in his bed alone, I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking about the company (trade) he had there last week, and I felt dirty, and so I am thinking that if we do in fact get down and dirty I won't be able to perform, as the thoughts of the antics that went on there before will make me nauseous, and give me that stomach churning thing you all know about. 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....