MacArthur park

Ok so looking back I think I might have been a little too harsh. 

Big and I  broke up today, it was horrible! We absolutely love each other, however the circumstances just aren't right.  I never thought I would see him that upset, we were both crying our hearts out.. 

The thing is, I am going to miss him, his laugh, his eyes, his smell and just being with him... I have fallen hook line and sinker.

I'm in my bed now, eyes tired from the crying... Oh the crying. I just don't know what else to do... It's such a horrible thing... Break ups.. I just don't know when I am going to see him again.. Or touch/hold him!!! Something that I know probably won't happen... 

I confronted big about the condom and he swears black and blue he didn't do anything.... I do believe him.. I know that sounds pathetic, but I know him and I know he would tell me... 

Anyway just thought I would touch base and let you know how I am, where I am etc... 

MacArthur park is our song big..... I love you!