I've been travelling for work this week and I have now found myself in a hotel pining after big, we have spoken a few times via text, but I am trying my darnedest to move on...... It's so hard....
I don't know if he is feeling the same as me, as I'm not altogether sure he is emotionally capable to feel this way... A friend asked me today whether I would go with him to the new country he is being relocated too, I thought about it and if he asked I think that I would.... I'm not sure if I am being stupid or that the sorrow is clouding my judgement, all I know is that I miss him with all my heart.
Being alone in this town that I am in sucks, there is seriously no talent whatsoever, I mean NOTHING...
I actually don't know what I would do if there was anyone decent, I think I would probably end up crying in the middle of sex, and freak the poor guy out... What a fucking loser...
I have two more days of being on the road then 3 days at home and then on the road again, this travel isn't really doing any favours for this gay to get back on the horse, esp when the talent out there is abysmal..... Perhaps I am being too tough and bitter due to the break up but a boy can be 3 days out of one, right?
I just feel sad and miserable, I think because the break up was mutual, there was no real reason to focus on. I am a little fucked off that he never asked if I would like to go, or even hinted at it, I remember a while back when we had been together for a while and he was talking about maybe being sent to a European City to work, and he asked me there if I would like to go.... I guess that was just pillow talk..
I did say to him on Sunday that I felt we were flatlining... Esp since he never messaged me for over 4 days.... That was kinda signal enough eh? I mean when you can't even contact the one you supposedly love... I guess he's just not that into me.
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